Seinfeld, 30 Years Later, Part 1: Un-Branding, Dunkers & Dictators, and Mom & Pop Stores

Thirty years ago, Seinfeld’s pilot episode aired in a sleepy summer time slot. Considered so unremarkable, it nearly failed to become a series… an inauspicious beginning that contrasts interestingly to what is often acclaimed as the greatest sitcom in TV history, having cemented its legacy in nonstop syndicated rotation.

What is remarkable to me about Seinfeld is how incredibly quaint it looks now: products have changed, many of the vehicles aren’t made anymore, and modern norms of society are quite a bit different. Yet, it’s still endlessly quotable and hilarious.

This three part series reviews many aspects of society that have changed, evolved or ceased to exist since Seinfeld aired, and is organized by topic:

Part One: The Un-Branding, Dunkers & Dictators, and The Mom & Pop Stores

Part Two: Hot Wizards With Many Functions, and Sweet Rides

Part Three: Society Now!, and What Consumer, I’m The Consumer?!

The Un-Branding

Brands come and go, and products constantly need to adapt and refresh in order to survive. Almost every name brand product shown on Seinfeld has changed in one way or the other, if not having altogether exited the market. As consumers, we’ve kiboshed before… and we will kibosh again.

Drakes Coffee Cakes
Originally a New York bakery, Drake’s Cakes has been subject to multiple corporate buyouts dating back to the 1920’s, and is no longer manufactured in the Northeast. Drake’s Coffee Cakes were also inexplicably discontinued from 2017 to 2018.

Pepsi
This Pepsi can design was used from 1991 to 1998.

Diet Pepsi
Starting with its debut in the 60's under the moniker "Patio", Diet Pepsi has undergone a number rebrands through the decades. The can Jerry holds was in use throughout the 90’s.

Cherry Binaca
Cherry Binaca is no longer sold, and it's safe to say it wasn't a hit with the “crazy apartment dwelling creep” demo.

Dustbuster
The original Dustbuster’s iconic wedge shape – a staple home appliance throughout the 80’s – gradually gave way to rounded forms and translucent plastic, starting in the 90’s.

Nestle Quik
Nestle Quik is nonexistent on store shelves, since it was rebranded to Nesquik in 1999. It’s also no longer sold in tin cans.

Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus
After nearly 150 years as “The Greatest Show On Earth”, Ringling Brothers ceased operation with its final performance in 2017.

Compaq
Compaq was a prominent computer manufacturer throughout the desktop PC boom, but was eventually acquired by Hewlett-Packard, and completely dissolved by 2013. Elaine is seen toiling away on a mid-90's LTE 4/75CX.

Mello Yello
Mello Yello has probably had more wildly different rebrands than any other soft drink in this article. The logo on the bottles Newman guzzles was in use from the early to mid-90’s.

Mug Root Beer
This Mug Root Beer can design was used from 1995 - 2003, but taunting a sweaty interrogator with a cold drink never goes out of style.

Sprite, Diet Mug Root Beer, Canada Dry, Pepsi, 3 Muskateers
George Costanza’s recliner with a fridge built right into it is a treasure trove of 90’s era junk food logos.

Baskin Robbins - 51 flavors — Baskin Robbins
Baskin Robbins used this logo from the early 90’s until 2006, when they rebranded with an arguably far more clever design. Great place to get a sugar cone... a sincere apology, not so much.

Twix - the only candy with a cookie crunch — Twix
Even the only candy bar with a cookie crunch needs to update its brand, occasionally.

Marlboro Man
Projections of rugged masculinity in tobacco advertisements ceased with the Tobacco Master Settlement Agreement in 1998… leaving cigarette manufacturers to ponder, “Who could love me?”

New York Giants
In 2000, the Giants reverted to their original logo, in spite of their home stadium being located across state lines in New Jersey. Yeah that's right, high five!

REFERENCES

Dunkers & Dictators

Thirty years is a long time in terms of our narrow window of mortality, and many famous names who were part of an episode plot have moved on to the great velvet fog of the afterlife.

Joe DiMaggio
Joltin’ Joe passed away in 1999, and to this day whether or not he was a dunker is up for debate. YELP!

Dick Gregory
Dick Gregory passed away in 2017, arguably having long outlived morbidly obese exhibitionists with his strict dietary regimen.

Mickey Mantle and Clete Boyer
Mickey Mantle passed away in 1995, and Clete Boyer in 2007. Kramer’s baseball camp brouhaha shame will live on forever, though.

Rudy Giuliani
Rudy Giuliani became mayor of New York City during Seinfeld’s run, and famously took time right after his election to film a spot for the show. While no longer an elected official, today it's fair to say… he’s something else.

Saddam Hussein
Gore-tex might be great for saving you from death of cold, but death by hanging, not so much.

Jackie Kennedy Onassis
An American icon, Miss Onassis-is’ passing in 1994 was actually part of the plot where Elaine is hired by Justin Pitt due to her grace (but not too much grace).

Artie Shaw
Artie Shaw’s name was casually dropped by Elaine as she laboriously picked salt off of Mr. Pitt’s pretzels. No longer a trivia question for a spot on the Woody Woodpecker crew, his storied life concluded in 2004.

Fidel Castro
El Commandante passed away in 2016 and rumor has it, the Communist pipeline of baseball talent was taken over by his brother, Dennis.

Mel Torme
Passed away in 1999, and everyone who has moved beyond this plane of existence is still asking the big question: “What the hell is a ‘Velvet Fog’?!”

George Steinbrenner
Steinbrenner's larger than life personality made great parody fodder for what was unquestionably one of Seinfeld's most memorable characters. He passed away in 2010, and his Seinfeld parody bellowing “Big Stein wants an eggplant calzone!” echoes through eternity.

Luciano Pavarotti, Jose Carreras
Pavarotti passed away in 2007. “The Other Guy”, "Mr. Camero" concluded the final performance of his farewell tour in November, 2019.

David Letterman
David Letterman hosted his last Late Show in May 2015, but the good news is that as of 2018, he has a new full-hour talk show to badger his guests about the deadly dangers of monitor lizards.

Phil Rizzuto
Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto passed away in 2007. Although he was considered integral to mid-20th century Yankees wins, he's perhaps best remembered as a longtime color commentator. Holy cow!

Anthony Quinn
Screen legend Anthony Quinn passed away in 2001, and legend has it that his undershirt is still being used as a bargaining chip for “interesting trades”.

Jim Fowler
Jim Fowler passed away in May, 2019 and we’ll always remember the lesson bestowed upon the idiots in Kramer’s Merv Griffin set: hawks and squirrels don’t get along.

Merv Griffin
Merv Griffin passed away in 2007. While his talk show may not be memorable enough to qualify for entry into the Smithsonian, his set at least belongs in the dumpster behind it.

REFERENCES

The Mom & Pop Stores

Life moves fast in New York City. While buildings – and even some businesses – may stand for many generations, none are impervious to changes in consumer habits, building codes and bloody noses.